Most Ineffective Spam Opening Line Ever

A peculiar e-mail from China landed in my inbox this evening. It began:

“We have learned from the Internet that you are interested in tents.”

44 comments on “Most Ineffective Spam Opening Line Ever”. Leave your own?
  1. miko says:

    Ha! “From the internet” … they must be onto something.
    Here’s the full read.

  2. Deep down, you are really interested in tents.

  3. Mike D. says:

    Interesting. So it looks like they hit Binary Bonsai just a little before me. That’s really weird though since I’ve never seen him at any of the meetings.

  4. Devon Shaw says:

    I wanna know how they knew I was in the market.

  5. Vladimir says:

    I don’t know about you, but nothing is more dear to me than my love for tents.

  6. The Internet gave me away, the bastard!

  7. Vladimir says:

    I vote we find this “internet” and lynch him or something! My email address is supposed to be private.

  8. hudson says:

    Relax, you’re just too tents.

  9. Chris says:

    Ok, seriously now guys, who’s pitching the tent!?!

  10. Conánn says:

    One of these days, I tell yah China is gonna be big.

  11. Pete F. says:

    Definately one for Spamusement methinks!

  12. Jeremy Boles says:

    Weird, I just received this one morning.

  13. Dave says:

    lol the “internet” hehe :P

  14. Ryan Brill says:

    Hmm… that one really seems to be making the rounds. I got it last night, as well.

  15. Todd Dominey says:

    I got that one too.

  16. Dave Marks says:

    Oooh I got that one too… weird how it crosses the pond and all that just like that….

    /me thinks they must have crawled a popular un-protected blog in the industry…

  17. Joshua says:

    Ha, yes I can recall that one. Some other weird ones I remember include: “Do you need web page design?”, or “Let us help you with the web site search!”.

    Many seem as if they are from foreign countries! (c:

  18. Dave says:

    i think tent spam would be rather refreshing.

  19. Ian Lloyd says:

    I feel left out. I’ve only been offered viagra. Which is also useful for “pitching tents”, I might add.

    (Editor’s Note: HA!)

  20. Dean says:

    Don’t you use a spam filter? I’ve trained MozillaMail to the point that it doesn’t let things like this through and I miss out on gems like this. I feel slighted.

    (Editor’s Note: I actually don’t use one now. I switched e-mail addresses a little over a year ago and get hardly any spam. Maybe 2 per week. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time now until the onslaught begins though.)

  21. Hey, I got this one too.

    Thanks go to Richard Zhen, who apparently is the Marketing Director of JXTRADE.

  22. Ray says:

    Yes, they pitched their tents to me too.

    I thought it was a set-up.

  23. Brian says:

    I thought it was internets. There’s more than one, you know.

  24. Mark says:

    tick ….. tack ….. tick …. tack …. now you will feel a little dizzy, and tired ….. tick …. tack …. and you will believe everything I say …. tick ….. tack …. tick …. tack …. you like TENTS …. tick ….. tack …. tick …. tack …. from now on you believe everything in your mailbox …. tick ….. tack …. tick …. tack …. and you will build your own tents …. tick ….. tack …. tick …. tack …. by buying all viagra you can get from your mailbox …. tick ….. tack …. tick …. tack …. but you will still be left unsatisfied …. tick ….. tack …. tick …. tack …. because from the internet I learned that you yearn for MORE TENTS …. tick ….. tack …. tick …. tack …. so you will build your own camp site …. tick ….. tack …. tick …. tack …. and camp sites will conquer the WORLD …. tick ….. tack …. tick …. tack ….

  25. Bayous says:

    Woah, Mark…Have you been ordering pills from this internet guy?

  26. Why do I not get cool and fun spam like that? I might even buy a tent from them. Everyone can use a good tent. All the spam I get is either phishing or in a foreign language of some sort.

  27. Dan says:

    I wonder if the tents are water repellant and stay dry and cool in all conditions. I wonder if they have air conditioning built in… :-)

  28. Jack says:

    I got the same offer for tents.

    Does anyone still call it the internet anymore? I think we’ve all grown so tired of talking about the ‘net that we refer to it ironcally as intarweb or the internets, etc.

  29. Nimai says:

    The internet??? is that thing still around

  30. hink says:

    Sorry Mr. Davidson, I think we got out inboxes crossways. >Ithis one is yours. ;)

  31. hink says:

    Damn. A punchline is only funny before you flub it.

  32. hink says:

    –> tick ….. tack …. tick …. tack …

    Funny… I am not feeling hypnotized, but I am suddenly craving a small mint made up of 60% carnuba wax.

  33. Faruk Ateş says:

    It would’ve been better if it’d said “We have learned from the Internets …”


  34. Chartbot says:

    Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

  35. Io says:

    I tried to buy a few, but they told me my credit was over ex-tent-ed.


  36. Matt Round says:

    Tents? That’s nothing, for some reason a few years back I was constantly being offered large quantities of minerals from the far east.

    After mentioning it online somewhere, I then got emails from confused people looking to buy large quantities of minerals. If I was more devious and entrepreneurial I could’ve made a fortune

  37. flyguy says:

    Probably sent from some really ‘camp’ guy, trying to ‘pitch’ another sale… arf!

  38. Jordan says:

    Well, are you interested in tents or not?

  39. For me the most ineffective spam line is simple…

    “Perform your best in bed”

    I mean come on…HOW did they find out I am bad in bed? I’m not falling for that one again!

    Had they said tent instead of bed then I may have opened the email though. Without hope of improving in bed, a tent is my last chance!

  40. Nicolas says:

    [quote]”We have learned from the Internet that you are interested in tents.”[/quote]
    Lol :)

  41. Swimming says:

    I get offered all sorts from all over the world everyday, its amazing how they get hold of your private emails..

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