One Million Served

6 months. 64 posts. 2011 comments. One million page views. Mike Industries hit seven digits today, and to celebrate I’m giving away an Apple Bluetooth keyboard and Microsoft Wireless Optical Mouse to the person (or people) who submit the best comments, in haiku form, as to why they want either device. An example is as follows:

Oh Bluetooth Keyboard
I Yearn For Your Wireless Touch
Untether Me Now

The best haikus posted by EOD Wednesday, will be shipped the products. Multiple entries are fine.

I want to thank everyone who has been reading and/or participating in this site over the last several months since inception. I feel like this blog is 99% troll-free, and the quality of discussion is top shelf. Never would I have learned that the McLean Deluxe burger is part sea-kelp without the vast pool of savants who visit these pages.

I also want to give a shout out to Dreamhost, my hosting company of choice. I’ve hosted sites with many different ISPs in my life, but Dreamhost just continues to completely blow me away. I have zero complaints and a thousand compliments. In fact, I’m so satisfied that I just gave them placement on my sidebar, which is about the closest thing to an ad you’ll find on this site. If your hosting company doesn’t make you want to run over and hug them, you should check out Dreamhost.

Thanks also to The Wolf who continues to make the world a better (coded) place. Somebody please clone him.

Anyway, I’m off for a vacation in the Mayan Riviera now. The diving is supposed to be great. Will post close-up pictures of sharks when I return.

UPDATE: We have two winners! Thanks to everyone for participating. There were more than a handful of really great haikus, but these two stood out as the greatest:

Pale azure molar
Blinking vermillion rodent
Freely I would roam

— Isaac Lin


— Jay Robinson

Congrats to Isaac and Jay. I’ll ship you your stuff as soon as I get back from vacay.

136 comments on “One Million Served”. Leave your own?
  1. Feaverish says:

    Snow soft clicky clack.
    Cables? No. Radiation.
    Cancer? It’s worth it.

  2. Shaun Inman says:

    sad, toothless cat seeks
    a fiesty, free-spirited
    mouse, for coy couching

  3. Boris Mann says:

    Apple mouse one button
    Keyboard has so many more
    Brings me unwired joy

    Well, it’s a 5-7-5, but it’s no flash of brilliance. Perhaps inspiration will hit later.

  4. Andy Stalick says:

    White keys of wonder
    Tempt me not with your brightness!
    My fear: coffee stains

  5. rob campbell says:

    tiny powerbook
    you lack a numeric pad
    my little twelve inch

  6. Chad Baker says:

    Mini, I have not.
    At first, never. Now, maybe.
    Here, inspiration.

  7. James says:

    Come unto my hands,
    ye keyboard of the bluetooth.
    A benediction.

  8. LB says:

    Laptop love is strong
    But sometimes too confining
    For a heart so free

  9. Shaun Inman says:

    What’s up you slack-jawed yokels? Since when is “wire” one syllable? (I don’t care what says Mike).

    Put out that there fahr you idjuts! It’s light done interfering with my wahrless!

    (And never mind what a redneck is doing with a wireless anything.)

  10. Joe says:

    Each hates the other
    They don’t play well together
    Both are loved by all

  11. Andy Stalick says:

    These desktop gadgets:
    Are batteries included?
    If not, please mention.

    Writing these haiku
    Imagining wireless life
    Carpal tunnel cured?

  12. Jason says:

    Ye gifts that compete
    Yet still work well together
    Come to your new dad

  13. Aaron says:

    Lint and dander, ugh
    Rolling ball all gummed up now
    Really need that mouse

  14. Aaron says:

    Candied apple toys
    Peaceful designing spaces
    Smoothly flowing ideas

  15. Jeff Croft says:

    You’ve said it yourself
    I’m a whore for free Mac swag
    Still don’t want your crap


  16. Andy Stalick says:

    Now, proper haiku
    does not include sentences
    that span across lines

    I will not scold, though
    Mike will have to be the judge
    May the best poem win

  17. Scott says:

    burdened for too long
    stranded in a windows world
    please help ease my pain

  18. Jeff Croft says:

    Oh and by the way
    Do countless rips of Shaun’s site
    qualify as clones?

  19. I left a comment
    And received traffic from Mike
    But lots more from Scrivs.

    An Apple keyboard
    Not much use for me… maybe
    Sell it on eBay?

    (Editor’s Note:

    Scrivs gets great numbers
    A traffic whore some might say
    More power to him :)


  20. Olly Hodgson says:

    Badger Badger Badge
    Badger Badger Badger Badge
    Mushroom Argh A Snake

    Does that work?

  21. Chad Baker says:

    On Ebay, you say?
    They will sell, yes. Right away.
    Instead, charity.

  22. traffic, I have half
    time, it took me twice as long
    does jealousy show?

  23. Seattle is far off
    hoping to get a keyboard
    avoiding the sharks

    Standards compliant
    Smiling with my bright blue teeth
    mac friendly device

    I learned poetry
    In elementary school
    I’m an old fart now

  24. Patrick says:

    Trying hard to Switch
    This would be a good head start
    College makes me poor

    Once I’m done switching
    I can create more web stuff
    PC holds me back

  25. Kyle says:

    Save the shipping costs
    Bring to me in Orlando
    I want that keyboard

  26. Joshua says:

    Forthcoming battles.
    Two seperate worlds now converge.
    Only one may rule all.

  27. Joshua says:

    Ah, made a mistake in my previous post.

    Forthcoming battles.
    Two seperate worlds now converge.
    Only one may rule.

  28. Isaac Lin says:

    Pale azure molar
    Blinking vermillion rodent
    Freely I would roam

  29. Scott says:

    I’d like a new mouse
    Mine is tethered to a box
    But works otherwise


  30. My mouse does not move.
    Tugging, I find the root cause.
    My foot’s on the wire.

    I like to write these.
    But I use Windows machines.
    Do I get a prize?

  31. Jay says:

    Pale white jellybean.
    Crystal tray of sugar cubes.
    Blue-tooth or sweet- one?

  32. Rob says:

    Piece of crap software.
    Holes. Flaws. Bugs. Hacker heaven.
    I’d like a mouse please.

  33. aquileia says:

    Stuck behind tower
    Mouse cord wins tug-of-war
    Cordless would free me

  34. John Whittet says:

    My poetry sucks
    so much that I’ll never win
    this contest in rhyme.

    Maybe another
    seventeen lines will improve
    my odds of winning.

    But alas I am
    naught but a daily lurker
    here on Mike’s site.

    I helped with the hits
    but not with “troll-free” comments
    (as mentioned above).

    I would (of course) like
    to be untethered in front
    of my Powerbook.

    But my chances of
    winning a Norse king’s device
    are quite low, I feel.

    Yet I had fun with
    my tirade in three lines of

    on your truckload of traffic…
    now, back to lurking.

  35. Gollum says:

    no wires to rule them
    and in the darkness bind them
    us wants the preciousssss

  36. John Whittet says:

    Crap, I messed up the
    last stanza of my great ode;
    it should be written:

    Yet I had a blast
    with my tirade in three lines
    of five-seven-five.

  37. David Guillory says:

    How I yearn for it
    The ability to roam
    Untethered and free

    Thirty feet away
    If I had a projector
    I could read the type

  38. Jay says:

    Next, a 30-inch.
    Eleven pixel type’s wee.
    From way way back here.

  39. LB says:

    Noncommittal scribe
    Seeks partner free of baggage
    With white keys, blue teeth

  40. Jay says:

    Wife’s new PowerBook…
    Me, with 30-foot mouse range?
    I’ll drive her insane!

  41. Blake says:

    Son of a mother…
    Tripped on another! …hello?
    Wireless, you say?

  42. PuddleMonkey says:

    On superhighway
    mouse spit and spat smoke so black
    dead ball worn all flat

  43. Blake says:

    Blue Tooth can rhyme with
    Phone Booth, where I spend quarters
    To prank call Zeldman!

  44. Jay says:

    White keys are grubby.
    Gunk on underside of mouse.
    Clean them…or write poem?

  45. Jay says:

    Lousy at counting…
    Screwed up scansion; five, not six!
    Here’s my revision:

    White keys are grubby.
    Gunk on underside of mouse.
    Wash…or write haiku?

  46. Vladimir says:

    With one million served,
    I hope to get the hardware
    With this cool Haiku.

  47. Ryan Berg says:

    Z X C V B
    N M comma space and shift
    All just died today

  48. Alex Cook says:

    please, guru-Buddha,
    free my desk from suffering
    and its tangled cause.

    please guru-Buddha
    cease USB attachment
    send liberation.

    please, guru-Buddha,
    impart equanamity
    on peripherals

    please, guru-Buddha,
    grant me wireless blessings,
    bluetooth happiness.

  49. Jordan says:

    my teeth turn blue at
    the thought of wireless keys
    dancing in the night

    Is wireless worth three syllables? I’m banking on it…

  50. Jack says:

    sick of waiting for
    rumored powerbook update
    give me distractions

    Or for a shoddy second attempt:

    bluetooth and wireless
    overrated and pricy
    don’t care coz it’s free

    Yay me.

  51. LB says:

    I want a puppy
    But this white mouse is better
    No leash, no poop scoop

  52. Tony says:

    I don’t want your stuff,
    I can just go get my own.
    Keep the damn keyboard.


  53. joel says:

    give to me the toys
    please people, let me have them

  54. Jay says:


  55. MM says:

    Nice site !

  56. Steve says:

    input devices
    shed your ungainly shackles
    you’ve typed the millionth

    G4 400
    with clumsy one button mouse
    really need new one

  57. Adam says:

    Sorry my Apple.
    Time to meet Bill Gates!
    Courtesy of Mike.

    Microsoft made this.
    No wires helps me forget!
    Standards Complient?

    Congrats Mike!

  58. Adam says:

    External Hard Disk
    Getting unplugged by mouse cord!
    Site of the year lost!

  59. Matthom says:

    could buy it myself
    but, at comment 59
    i save that and time

  60. Brett Epps says:

    Already I am wire-free
    But the mouse, it says M$
    Oh god it burns me.

    Its very touch, hot
    Singing my flesh with letters
    Set in a bold font

    Now I wear the word
    In the palm of my burnt hand
    For all to behold

  61. Dan Hudlow says:

    My PowerBook Sad
    His Bluetooth Module Still Sleeps
    Awake It My Friend

    Vines Entangle Limbs
    Jungle Is Fraught With Chaos
    And So Is My Desk

    It Lives To Transmit
    It Sets Accessories Free
    Forsooth: It’s Bluetooth

    Poetry Is Weird
    I Do Not Like To Write It
    Give Me The Keyboard

  62. Jennifer Noland says:

    Perhaps after this
    I won’t be able to say
    “I don’t have good luck”

  63. Kjell says:

    sixty-two comments
    wow, what a large number
    my iMac is old

    because it is old
    I just think, maybe, it’s me
    who needs the keyboard

    and alas, my mouse
    always trips over its long
    electric grey tail

  64. Ben says:

    My mac chugs along
    Wires protrude from the back
    Clean me up Scotty

  65. Izzy says:

    To win the package
    I will not copy your site
    Kevin Elliot

  66. Don says:

    I would not know a hi cooo if it hit me square in the face. Send it to someone with a clue. P.S. You suck for taking a vacation when I am up to my armpits in snow. May you have a near death experience. Just kidding — please don’t, travel safe. Congratulations on your success. I like your site even if the closest I get to a mac is with cheese.

  67. gb says:

    my lonely bluetooth
    built to order, now useless
    the module needs friends

    site hits one million
    the one a poor man visits
    even without promised reward

    how did it get there?
    could it be S. I. F. R.,
    or some witty posts?

  68. Windows through I see
    Mac hardware I have no need
    Please, do enlighten me

    Sorry, I didn’t mean to rhyme on that (even though it’s a “force rhyme” on the second line). Can I try again, even though it’s pointless since I’m a Windows user? Let’s Westernize this Eastern art form. ;)

    A confused user
    Need a Mac, not a mouse
    Sucks to be me, huh?

  69. Whoops, I forgot to add BR’s.

    Windows through I see
    Mac hardware I have no need
    Please, do enlighten me

    A confused user
    Need a Mac, not a mouse
    Sucks to be me, huh?

  70. bluetooth happiness
    kinesthetic love comfort
    wireless mouse fun

  71. Brade says:

    no longer do i bite.
    no cord with which to floss;
    i have a blue tooth.


    from afar i pine;
    the mouse relinquished his orb.
    ah! cherry blossoms!

  72. Give me the one gift
    Take my fingers to heaven
    Picard has no wires

    Worf has his bat’leth
    Picard has his enterprise
    What does allen have?

    With wireless keys
    My hands will type heavenly
    Award me the prize

    Mouse with his laser
    Keyboard with only a rope
    What a poor excuse

    The desk is breaking
    The monitor is bleeding
    Make my in-put grand

    Jesus laughs at me
    “What a pathetic key board”
    Please make Jesus pay

    The song on the wind
    “Wires are for cavemen”
    What a hateful song…

  73. Gigantic G5
    How you look so small to me
    From across the room

    Noisy Quicksilver
    When I use you from afar
    My love rekindles

    Oh peecee laptop
    How you are green of my blue
    Such a sexy tooth

  74. One million visits
    Mikey gives away bluetooth
    No one button mouse

  75. Mahi says:

    I vote for Ryan
    his haiku made me laugh lots
    plus he needs them more.

    In other news, I think my site is quickly approaching 13 months, 200 posts, 450 comments, and 1000 hits. To make matters worse, the same 3 people hit my site over and over again. :(

  76. With tooth at my tips
    I will never sit too close
    What does my screen say

  77. Ollie says:

    keyboard, mouse { float: left;}
    i {position: relative;}

  78. I will not win this
    I am not witty or smart
    Back to Croft’s website

    Damn I am tired
    Always another deadline
    Time I hit the hay

  79. Ollie says:

    clean desk in a dream
    cables.pesky {display: none;}
    css no good

  80. Jay says:

    System Preferences>
    Set Up New Device

  81. Mark Wubben says:

    Sheez… lots of haiku’s already! While Mike is diving, I’ll throw in mine:

    White keys clattering
    Signals sent into space
    A gentle move

  82. Ollie says:

    late haiku problem
    girl says get away from mac
    he smiles in warm bed

  83. Tony says:

    Input yin and yang
    harmoniously unite
    unfettered and free.

  84. W says:

    Small and fun
    I definitely want
    to get one

    Click for your own free mac mini

  85. Carlos Porto says:

    Mike I hope your enjoying it down in Mexico, I went down there last year to the same area and had a great time. Make sure to do an excursion to the Cenotes, trust me you won’t regret it. Well here’s my effort for the game.

    a pc i have
    a mac i yearn
    bluetooth set me free

  86. Skid says:

    free stuff for poetic fluff
    i really like mike

  87. Tintin says:

    what you say
    all your wireless are belong to us
    for great justice

  88. Jeff Croft says:

    Jeez, don’t you all know?
    The haiku form is to be
    five-seven-five, yo!

    By the way, Jason Rutherford…that #78 was funny as hell, once I finally got it (or rather, Mike explained it to me). :)

  89. Brian Ford says:

    Bluetooth not standard
    On my new g5 iMac
    I hope i don’t win

  90. Brian Ford says:

    Haiku are for art.
    Your contest mocks my talent.
    Devalues my gift.

  91. Brian Ford says:

    Slight variation:

    Live, eat, breath: Haiku
    Your contest mocks my passion:
    Devalues market!

  92. Brian Ford says:

    Spending time at work
    Writing haiku for prizes
    Could get me fired.

  93. Brian Ford says:

    I was feeling really creative and inspired last night, and came up with this Haiku:

    Hail Bluetooth Keyboard
    I Long For Your Wireless Gaze
    Unbind Me Now

  94. Brian Ford says:

    ( I haven’t written any html in ages, so this might backfire on me…)

    Two birds with one stone:
    I could use some of your help.
    I am such a whore.

  95. Brian Ford says:

    With wireless keys…
    I still concoct my Haikus;
    But from a distance.

  96. Tintin says:

    davidson said no
    through his message boy danny
    next time maybe

  97. Brian Ford says:

    89 up to
    96 means quantity
    over quality.

  98. Brian Ford says:

    I dislike tintin
    The timing of his entry
    Wrecked 97

  99. Ryan says:

    Shit! Zzzzzp! Bang!
    Walking by the River
    XP PC up in smoke
    Smell of Roses in the Air
    Mini Mac at my door

    I suck!!

  100. Dan Mall says:

    I just bought a Mac.
    I used to use a PC.
    Is that good enough?

  101. Ciz McDiz says:

    Giz Giz Giz Giz Giz
    Giz Giz Giz Giz Giz You Are
    Giz Giz Super Giz

  102. Magnus Eide says:

    When you never have written a haiku before, and none of your teachers ever have mentioned it, you don’t feel very motivated for the task, but here it is anyway:

    Frozen cursor on screen
    The mouse can not move it
    I need a new one

  103. A haiku story, I hope it makes you happy, then I will be happy.

    How are you typing?
    With a wireless mac keyboard.
    You are so cool man!

    Did your mouse just move?
    Yes it did, Mike Davidson.
    I gave you that mouse.

    Mice fall from the sky,
    I did not know mice could fly,
    nor do I deny.

    The mouse has fallen,
    I am laying on the ground,
    We see eye to eye.

    From the ground I move
    Over to my large wood desk,
    The mouse still works now.

    The keyboard is here!
    There are no wires on it,
    My text is entered.

    This haiku I wrote,
    Wanting a keyboard and mouse,
    from merely my dreams.

    Now I will leave you,
    Thank you for considering,
    I hope to win now.

    Joshua “Comp” Pezz,
    On a Powerbook G4,
    I love Apple so much.

  104. Either near or far
    I can use my Macintosh
    Because of Bluetooth

  105. I use Mozilla
    Sometimes I use Safari
    Not close to the screen

    How are you not close?
    I use wireless addons
    That is fly fancy

  106. Tiger comes out soon
    I don’t see a long horn though
    Spotlight broke the horn

  107. I like that bluetooth!
    Do you know the muffin man?
    What? Not blue-berries.

  108. What is your mouse now?
    I am using the touchpad.
    That’s unfortunate.

  109. Apple keyboard feature:
    Over the air encryption.
    Isn’t that awesome?

  110. Ollie says:

    Arthur C. Clarke wrote
    advanced tech. same as magic
    I love science fiction

  111. Nipper says:

    Confucious say:

    little asian fingers

    like a mouse with no tail

    compliment a big brain and,


  112. Mark Payne says:

    Wife says too much time
    Spent away from her on mac
    Need Bluetooth on couch.

  113. Right on the deadline (midnight here):

    Typing hurts me
    change is possible at last
    I will type

    (I know that’s a bit short, but does this count as a chiasmus as well as a haiku?)

  114. Jordan says:

    I’m not a code poet,
    but I’d be a lot closer
    to one with blue tooth.

  115. Jordan says:

    "Many will enter,
    few will win." I should like to
    thank the academy…

  116. Jordan says:

    Look – I’m bad at this
    persuasion stuff, so let’s give
    underdogs a chance.

  117. Jeff Croft says:

    I’m really not sure
    That one long thought on three lines
    counts as a haiku.

    Is there such thing as a run-on haiku?

  118. Jordan says:

    Not really… haiku are a kinda weird style. The ‘most official’ style is a set of seven 5-7-5s, but really anything goes.

  119. Noah Stokes says:

    why would i want you
    oh colored tooth keys?
    you’re flakey and drop your connection
    and won’t let me boot while holding your C
    why would i want you
    oh monopoly mouse?
    you’re fugly and jealous
    i won’t let you in my house!

  120. Madeline W. says:

    Subconsciously, I
    reach for my plugged-in mouse. Oops.
    Ow. My arm’s asleep.

  121. Powerbook gets hot,
    Pants catch fire, ouch, that hurts much,
    Free me from this pain.

  122. That was fun, I hope there is another one soon!

  123. Brian Ford says:

    “I’m really not sure
    That one long thought on three lines
    counts as a haiku.

    Is there such thing as a run-on haiku?”

    Ah, Jeffrey A. Croft!
    Master of eastern culture.
    Teach us what you know.

  124. Brian Ford says:

    And, as far as an answer to your question, about the only rule that is generally followed with Haiku is the 5-7-5 rule, even though there was traditionally a thematic structure as well. (The 5-7-5 rule as we use it today doesn’t even really fit, as they don’t use syllables in the same way that we do.)

    So, my answer to your question is, so long as it’s a 5-7-5, it fits the bastardized version of Haiku that modern usage has deemed acceptable. (Whether the judge wants to allow a run-on Haiku to win is another matter altogether.)

  125. Adam says:

    Women will love me.
    I will lose twenty-five pounds.
    If I have this mouse.

  126. Adam says:

    Too legit to quit.
    MC Hammer thinks so, too.
    Help a guy out, Mike.

  127. Adam says:

    What would Jesus do?
    Probably give me this mouse.
    Mike, are you Jesus?

  128. Adam says:

    Wife is Japanese,
    Yet mice interest her not,
    I haiku alone.

  129. Adam says:

    Mice without wires?
    What`choo talkin` `bout Willis?
    I sure would like one!

  130. Simon Cox says:

    1M Served compo!
    Haiku to win wireless toys
    damn, missed the deadline :(

  131. Congratulations Mike on your 1,000,000th :D

  132. Jane Jolin says:

    Big applause for your quality blog for reaching 1 million.

    You deserve it, your doing a great job here!

    And doing good on the net is rewarded (-:

  133. Don says:

    and a year and six months later where are we Mike? You did after all hit slashdot during the year …

  134. pratik says:

    wire-less less-wire
    a cool idea with hot deal
    nice blog from great man

  135. Myopia says:

    Who’s the Nerd Now?!

    That’s right

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