{"id":61,"date":"2005-01-06T11:21:15","date_gmt":"2005-01-06T19:21:15","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2016-05-25T23:34:38","modified_gmt":"2016-05-26T06:34:38","slug":"playing-along-with-email-scams","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mikeindustries.com\/blog\/archive\/2005\/01\/playing-along-with-email-scams","title":{"rendered":"Playing Along with African E-Mail Scams"},"content":{"rendered":"<style type=\"text\/css\">.savimbi {border-left: 1px solid #000; padding-left: 12px; margin-top: 15px; color: #990000}<\/style>\n<style type=\"text\/css\">.goss {border-left: 1px solid #000; padding-left: 12px; margin-top: 15px; color: #006600}<\/style>\n<style type=\"text\/css\">.fisher {margin-top: 15px}<\/style>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/blog\/images\/inline\/savimbi.jpg\" width=\"166\" height=\"200\" border=\"0\" alt=\"\" class=\"rightinline\" \/>With all the genuine relief efforts going on in the world right now, it&#8217;s easy to lose sight of the fake ones. Particularly the plight of poor Augusto Nandu Savimbi, son of Jonas Savimbi, recently slain leader of the UNITA movement in Angola (pictured at right). If you&#8217;ve ever received one of these e-mails, perhaps you&#8217;ve been tempted to help poor Augusto or one of his siblings out of the horrible predicament that has been thrust upon them by the oppressive government of Angola.<\/p>\n<p>Or, perhaps you&#8217;ve just wanted to play along via e-mail and see how much of &#8220;Augusto&#8217;s&#8221; time you could waste.<\/p>\n<p>As it turns out, a designer I work with, Stephen Lodefink, has a friend who has been doing just this for the last month or so, and it&#8217;s one of the more entertaining e-mail exchanges I&#8217;ve read in awhile. This friend Patrick has been trading e-mails with &#8220;Mr. Savimbi&#8221; stringing him along and setting up a fake meeting in Dublin to transfer funds and make them both millionaires.<\/p>\n<p>The e-mail chain has gotten a bit long and Mr. Savimbi has grown quite frustrated, but I&#8217;m going to go ahead and post the entire transcript before the saga is complete.  I will add new e-mails as they come in. The whole thing starts off rather tame, but once Patrick&#8217;s broken english and &#8220;kooky-kitten-kat&#8221; stories kick in, it goes way over the top.<\/p>\n<h3>The transcript follows:<\/h3>\n<p><!--more--><br \/>\nRed: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>Green: Christopher Goss (also part of the scam)<br \/>Black: Patrick Fisher<\/p>\n<div class=\"savimbi\">\n<p>From: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nTo: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nSubject: URGENT, PLEASE HELP.<br \/>\nDate: Mon, 1 Dec 2004<\/p>\n<p>This letter may come to you as a surprise but I really prayed to God to help me choose somebody that will be my true partner. My name is Augusto Nandu Savimbi. I am the first son of Mr. Jonas Savinbi, the leader of the UNITA movement in Angola. May be you know that my father was killed recently in Angola by the Angola Government soldiers and has been buried. Two weeks before he died (May be he know he will die) he called me and showed me a box containing US$ 35 million and some Diamond value about US$18 million. He send the box to a security company overseas in one country in the West, for safe keeping with a false name. He give me the certificate of deposit and the code number. With that I collect the box anytime I want. Now I want because my father is dead and I need the money to take care of my family left behind of about five wives and twenty five children. I am now hiding as the government of Angola look for me to kill and also the former commanders of my father want to get me also. I have to be careful of my movement that is why I need your help to get the box and keep it until I can escape and meet you and you help me invest the money in your country or where it is good.<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"fisher\">\n<p>(The original reply is missing)<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"savimbi\">\n<p>From: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nTo: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nSubject: Thanks Patrick Fisher.<br \/>\nDate: Mon, 6 Dec 2004<\/p>\n<p>Dear Patrick Fisher<\/p>\n<p>Thanks for your reply to my mail and your willingness to assist me and my family. May the Almighty God bless you. My dear friend what we need you to do is to travel to the European country where my late father deposited the consignment and sign for it&#8217;s release.<\/p>\n<p>I need you to furnish me with your contact address, telephone and fax numbers so that we can prepare a letter of authority in your name which you will present to the security company for the release of the consignment to you. I am sorry that I have to be silent on the name of the security company and other informations concerning the consignment until I get your total and utmost assurance that you will make the trip. I look forward to hearing from you. God bless you and your family.<\/p>\n<p>Best regards,<\/p>\n<p>Augusto Savimbi.<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"savimbi\">\n<p>From: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nTo: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nSubject: Please understand our position.<br \/>\nDate: Mon, 13 Dec 2004<\/p>\n<p>Dear Patrick Fisher,<\/p>\n<p>Thanks for your mail. My dear friend, like I stated earlier we are under survillance and can not make any monetary transaction it is for this reason that I seek your utmost and honest assistance.<\/p>\n<p>I urge you my friend, to make this sacrifies for us and we assure you that you will be happy you did. God bless you.<\/p>\n<p>Augusto.<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"savimbi\">\n<p>From: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nTo: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nSubject: Please get in touch with me.<br \/>\nDate: Fri, 17 Dec 2004<\/p>\n<p>Dear Patrick Fisher,<\/p>\n<p>How are you today, I hope you are doing fine? Please let me know the present situation of things as I have be reliably informed that the security company has contacted you. Please let me know if you have sign for the consignment and it has been delivered to you. I look forward to your mail. God bless you.<\/p>\n<p>Best regards,<\/p>\n<p>Augusto.<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"fisher\">\n<p>From: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nTo: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nSubject: Re: Please get in touch with me.<br \/>\nDate: Sat, 18 Dec 2004<\/p>\n<p>hi augusto&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p>i haven&#8217;t received anything yet&#8230;. if they are documents please just e-mail them to me&#8230;.. i&#8217;m trying to help but at this point i&#8217;m a bit confused as to what we are trying to accomplish here.<\/p>\n<p>thank you, -patrick<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"savimbi\">\n<p>From: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nTo: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nSubject: Please treat as urgent.<br \/>\nDate: Mon, 20 Dec 2004<\/p>\n<p>Dear Patrick Fisher,<\/p>\n<p>I was reliably informed by the security company in Dublin that they have written to you informing you of the consignment and given you details of what to do to get the consignment released. They informed me that a phone call was put to you but that the number you supplied to me is not functioner.<\/p>\n<p>Please check your mail to see if you have any mail from Eurosecurity in Dublin but if not I want you to reconfirm your telephone number so that they can call you to intimate you with the informations as to how consignment can be retrived. My dear friend I am happy you are willing to assist so please put in more effort and expidite action. Time is running out. God bless you.<\/p>\n<p>Augusto.<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"fisher\">\n<p>From: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nTo: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nSubject: Re: Please treat as urgent.<br \/>\nDate: Mon, 20 Dec 2004<\/p>\n<p>hi augusto&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;..<\/p>\n<p>okay, i can&#8217;t wait to get the mail from dublin&#8230;.. why can&#8217;t they just e-mail the instructions?<\/p>\n<p>looking forward to helping..<\/p>\n<p>kind regards, -patrick<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"goss\">\n<p>From: Christopher Goss<br \/>\nTo: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nSubject: consigment<br \/>\nDate: Mon, 20 Dec 2004<\/p>\n<p>Dear Mr. Fisher, My name is Goss Christopher , and I am writting to you from eurosecurity&#038;Insuracnce company, I am the chief security officer in charge of your consignment , we have recieved your detail sent to our office for the collection of your consignment, from Mr Sovimbi in Angola. Please contact us immediately to make arrangement to come to Dublin Ireland , and sign the release order form for the relaese of your consignment to you accordingly. Also , we need your telephone and fax number to enable us to establish line of communicate with you properly.<\/p>\n<p>Goss, christopher your Sincerely<\/p>\n<p>eurosecurity &#038; Insurance co.<br \/>\nDublin, Ireland<br \/>\nTele 00-353-87-939-5804<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"fisher\">\n<p>From: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nTo: Christopher Goss<br \/>\nSubject: Re: consigment<br \/>\nDate: Tue, 21 Dec 2004<\/p>\n<p>hi christopher&#8230;..<\/p>\n<p>thank you for the e-mail. i am looking forward to dotting all the t&#8217;s and crossing all the i&#8217;s .<\/p>\n<p>my fax number is 503 XXX XXXX.. please fax details regarding what i need to do and what information you need from me to prepare for the trip to dublin.<\/p>\n<p>please fax the details to me at your earliest convince.<\/p>\n<p>until then, i remain with kind regards, -patrick<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"goss\">\n<p>From: Christopher Goss<br \/>\nTo: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nSubject: Re: consigment<br \/>\nDate: Thu, 23 Dec 2004<\/p>\n<p>Hello Mr.patrick, I have ask my secretary to send you the requested information as regard to your consignment please check your fax to see and get back to us. sincerely<\/p>\n<p>Christopher Goss<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"fisher\">\n<p>From: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nTo: Christopher Goss<br \/>\nSubject: Re: consigment<br \/>\nDate: Fri, 24 Dec 2004<\/p>\n<p>dear mr. christopher&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p>i have received the fax and i do have a few questions.<\/p>\n<p>mr. sovimbi didn&#8217;t tell me anything about having to pay any sort of &#8220;handling charge&#8221; further more, would that be $6500 u.s. dollars or some other currency? Euros?<\/p>\n<p>before i can make final arrangements to come to dublin and give you $6500 dollars i need to know a bit more about the details of this transaction.<\/p>\n<p>what is the $6500 for? what shall i receive? is it cold in dublin this time of year? will i need to bring a raincoat?<\/p>\n<p>please advise asap, i would like to take of this soon&#8230; i wish to help mr savimbi and look forward to clarification on the nature of the terms and agreements&#8230;. i also need to arrange for the care of my kitten-kat while i am away and need to know the dates to give to the pet sitter.<\/p>\n<p>untl then i remain with hopeful regards, -patrick<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"savimbi\">\n<p>From: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nTo: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nSubject: Please redirect the mail to Dublin<br \/>\nDate: Fri, 24 Dec 2004<\/p>\n<p>Dear Patrick Fisher,<\/p>\n<p>How are you, I hope you are fine. I got a mail from you today but from it content I presume it was meant for the security company in Dublin.<\/p>\n<p>I will urge you to send that mail to them if you have not done that so that they can respond to the questions that you raised. As for the content of the consignment, it contains physical cash of US$35M and Diamond worth US$18M. So you are expected to ask for 3 steal Boxes. Please for our interest do not mention the content to the security company because they are not aware of the content.<\/p>\n<p>I hope to hear from you. God bless you.<\/p>\n<p>Best regards,<\/p>\n<p>Augusto.<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"fisher\">\n<p>From: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nTo: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nSubject: Re: Please redirect the mail to Dublin<br \/>\nDate: Fri, 24 Dec 2004<\/p>\n<p>dear augusto&#8230;&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>thank you for the e-mail.<\/p>\n<p>so what am i supposed to do with the cash and the diamonds? \u00c2\u00a0please help me understand the arrangement we are going to undertake&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0I want to help you but I&#8217;m not sure what it is i&#8217;m supposed to do with the money and diamonds.<\/p>\n<p>also, what is the $6500 i am supposed to give to the security company? \u00c2\u00a0can&#8217;t you just send the cash and diamonds to my house? \u00c2\u00a0why do i have to go all the way to dublin to get them? \u00c2\u00a0maybe you can help me pay for a air ticket to get to dublin.<\/p>\n<p>things here are good&#8230;&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0the carnival was in town last week and my uncle Joey ran off with the rubber lady&#8230;.. \u00c2\u00a0that cad! \u00c2\u00a0He&#8217;s always chasing the womens.<\/p>\n<p>Are the steel boxes heavy? \u00c2\u00a0Maybe I want, \u00c2\u00a0I should bring my Uncle Joey to help me carry them. \u00c2\u00a0Who is going to pick me up at the airport? \u00c2\u00a0What language do they speak in dublin? \u00c2\u00a0Dublin-ease? French? \u00c2\u00a0Jibberish? \u00c2\u00a0 I think they speak a funny sounding english if I recollect correctly. \u00c2\u00a0That will be great to see that country&#8230;. \u00c2\u00a0I her they drink alot of tea.<\/p>\n<p>I am still wating to hear back from the security company and I do need further clarification from you on what it is i am to do with the cash and diamonds&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0do you want me just to mosey on over to Angola and drop them off at you house? \u00c2\u00a0That might be easiest&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0then you can pay me back the $6500 plus expenses plus a hefty bonus for all my trouble&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0I have expensive veternarian bills as my kooky-kitten-kat got his hoof stuck under the neighbors door and it costed $437.21 dollars to repair it. and that doesn&#8217;t even include the paw work.. just the door.<\/p>\n<p>Anyway&#8230;.. \u00c2\u00a0good seasons to you my new dear friend&#8230;&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0i look forward to helping you and returning what is rightflly yours as aoon as possible.<\/p>\n<p>kind regards&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0until then, i remain with good intentions&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>-patrick<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"savimbi\">\n<p>From: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nTo: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nSubject: Get in touch with Dublin<br \/>\nDate: Mon, 27 Dec 2004<\/p>\n<p>Dear Patrick,<\/p>\n<p>Thanks for the mail. First let me say that the content of the consignment is meant for investment but before then all you need to do is get the consignment to a safe account. Once you confirm that you have done that, you will make arrangement for the arrival of my family and I to your country for sharing and possible investment. Like I stated in my previous mail the family has agreed to give you 20% as compensation for your effort. We have also agreed that whatever expenses you incure in the process of getting the consignment into a safe account will be reimbursed back to you before we split the funds according to the agreed percentage.<\/p>\n<p>I know that before my father deposited the consignment he paid some charges so I do not know why you are being asked to pay US$6,500.00 so what I will advise is to send a mail to the security company in Dublin and seek to know what the said US$6,500.00 is meant for.<\/p>\n<p>You can also seek to know from the security company if they can deliver the consignment to your home. Please let me state here that once you get the consignment, you should please make sure that it is securely deposited in an account for safe keeping. On no account must you try to send the funds to my country Angola expect you want the Government to eleminate me and my family. The Government of my country must not have any idea that my family has some funds slashed somewhere as that will amount to security breech. The will do all within their power to get to the funds and make sure that we do not leave to use the funds, so please my friend don&#8217;t think along that line. Since you have accepted to help us just do that. We need the money and a safe place to relocate to.<\/p>\n<p>Please get back to the security company in Dublin and brief me on how the consignment will be release to you. I look forward to hearing from you. God bless you my friend.<\/p>\n<p>Best regards,<\/p>\n<p>Augusto.<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"fisher\">\n<p>From: Barney McGillicuddy<br \/>\nTo: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nSubject: urgent matter<br \/>\nDate: Tue, 28 Dec 2004<\/p>\n<p>CORPORATE HEADQUARTERS, ZAMBEZI CRESENT, MAITAMA DISTRRICT. P.M.B 0184 GARKI, ABUJA- FEDERAL CAPITAL TERRITORY,NIGERIA.<\/p>\n<p>DEAR FRIEND,<\/p>\n<p>I GUESS THIS LETTER MAY COME TO YOU AS A SURPRISE SINCE I HAD NO PREVIOUS CORRESPONDENCE WITH YOU. I AM A SENATOR AND THE CHAIRMAN OF INDEPENDENT NATIONAL ELECTORAL COMMISSION (INEC) I GOT YOUR CONTACT IN THE COURSE OF MY SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE PERSON WITH WHOM TO HANDLE A VERY CONFIDENTIAL TRANSACTION INVOLVING THE TRANSFER OF FUND VALUED THIRTY MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS ($30M) TO A SAFE ACCOUNT.<\/p>\n<p>THE ABOVE FUND IN QUESTION IS NOT CONNECTED WITH ARMS, DRUGS OR MONEY LAUNDERING. IT IS THE PRODUCT OF OVER INVOICE ON CONTRACT AWARDED IN JANUARY 2003 BY INEC, TO A FOREIGN COMPANY FOR THE SUPPLY OF ELECTORAL MATERIALS THAT WAS USED FOR CONDUCTING APRIL\/MAY, 2003 ELECTIONS.<\/p>\n<p>THE CONTRACT HAS BEEN EXECUTED AND PAYMENT OF THE ACTUAL CONTRACT AMOUNT MADE TO THE FOREIGN CONTRACTOR LEAVING THE BALANCE OF $30M U.S DOLLARS IN A DORMANT ACCOUNT WHICH MY COLLEAGUES AND I NOW WANT TO TRANSFER OUT OF NIGERIA INTO A RELIABLE FOREIGN ACCOUNT FOR OUR PERSONAL USE. AS CIVIL SERVANTS, WE DO NOT HAVE THE NECESSARY FOREIGN ACCOUNT MACHINERY TO SUCCESSFULLY HANDLE THIS TRANSACTION. THERFORE IT BECOMES NECESSARY TO SOURCE FOR A FOREIGN COMPANY WITH THE CAPABILITY TO ACT AS THE ORIGINAL BENEFICIARY OF THE CONTRACT. MY DEAR, IT IS A GOOD THING THAT THE PRESIDENT HAS ENDORSED THE RESOLUTION PASSED BY THE SENATE THAT ALL FOREIGN CONTRACTORS OWED BY THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF NIGERIA SHOULD BE PAID, WE WILL SEIZE THIS GOOD OPPORTUNITY TO PURPORT YOU AS ONE OF THE BENEFICIARIES TO BE PAID.<\/p>\n<p>IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN THIS PROPOSAL KINDLY EMAIL TO ME YOUR LETTER OF ACCEPTANCE ALON! G WITH YOUR DIRECT TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS, BUT IF YOU CANNOT FOR ANY REASON HANDLE THIS TRANSACTION I SHOULD BE GRATEFUL IF YOU CAN INTRODUCE IT TO A RELIABLE AND TRUST WORTHY PERSON IN WHICH IN ANY CASE YOUR INTEREST WILL BE PROPERLY TAKEN CARE OF.<\/p>\n<p>MEANWHILE, MY COLLEAGUES AND I HAVE DECIDED TO SHARE THE MONEY IN THE FOLLOWING RATIO: 70% FOR MY COLLLEAGUES AND I, THEN 25% FOR YOU THE ACCOUNT OWNER AND 5% FOR ALL LOCAL AND INTERNATIONAL EXPENSES THAT MAY ARISE IN THE COURSE OF THIS TRANSACTION. FUTHER DETAILS ABOUT THIS TRANSACTION WILL BE DISCUSSED IN THE SUBSEQUENT CORRESPONDENCE.<\/p>\n<p>THIS TRANSACTION IS STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL BUT 100% RISK FREE. NOTE ALSO THAT THE PARTICULAR NATURE OF YOUR BUSINESS IS IRRELEVANT TO THIS TRANSACTION AND THIS TRANSACTION IS EXPECTED TO BE CONCLUDED WITHIN 14 WORKING DAYS SINCE ALL LOCAL CONTACTS AND ARRANGEMENTS HAVE BEEN PROPERLY PERFECTED FOR A SMOOTH AND SUCCESSFUL CONC! LUSION! OF THIS TRANSACTION. IF THIS PROPOSAL IS ACCEPTABLE BY YOU, PLEASE CONFIRM YOUR INTEREST VIA EMAIL: YOURS FAITHFULLY, -Barney Mgillicuddy<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"savimbi\">\n<p>From: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nTo: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nSubject: please do something urgent<br \/>\nDate: Tue, 28 Dec 2004<\/p>\n<p>Dear<\/p>\n<p>How are today, I hope you are doing fine? Please let me know the explanation giving to you by the security company in Dublin.<\/p>\n<p>Please my friend, as you are aware the content of the consignment is too important for everyone of us and I plead with you to do us this one favour by going over to Dublin to get the consignment into a safe custody for futher investment. According to Eurosecurity once you get to Dublin you will be made to sign for the consignment and they will process and transfer to your account.<\/p>\n<p>I want to repeat here that the family has agreed in principle to give you 20% of the content of the consignment. We are begging you to save us from our present predicament, as you are our last line of hope to get a better life. We are in our own country but we do not have free movement because the present Government is afraid we might continue the opposition fight. The truth is we might start that on a latter day when we have been able to sort our ourselves but right now we can not do that because we are financially handicap and also we can only regroup outside this country as we are being monitored all through. That is why we need you to help us out, the cash and diamonds contained in those steel boxes are not small money and we are confident that it will change your personality like it will also do to us.<\/p>\n<p>Please in the name of God do us this favour and don&#8217;t let this wicked Government rein our future. God in his infinite mercies will bless you as you lift us out of this predicament.<\/p>\n<p>I am hoping that you will establish an urgent communication with the security company in Dublin to effect the signing and collection of the consignment. Please keep me posted. God bless you my friend.<\/p>\n<p>Best regads,<\/p>\n<p>Augusto.<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"fisher\">\n<p>From: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nTo: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nSubject: Re: please do something urgent<br \/>\nDate: Tue, 28 Dec 2004<\/p>\n<p>my dear augusto&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;..<\/p>\n<p>thank you for the e-mail.  mr. christopher gossamer sent me an e-mail explaining it all to me that the $6500 is a fee for transaction and storage.<\/p>\n<p>i have a great idea!  and you &#8216;ll be very happy i thunked this up because it will solve all the problems and speed up our harvest of bountiful rewards of cash and diamonds and all the sweets we can eat at one go.<\/p>\n<p>okay my friend&#8230;  why don&#8217;t i just crack open one of them boxes of diamonds and cash upon my triumphant arrival in dublin&#8230;  and then just give good old mr friendly goss the $6500 smack-a-roonies righ then and there&#8230;.  thats the most gynelogical solution i have thinked up yets.  what do you think?<\/p>\n<p>then i can take the rest and just hope on a train and swoosh on up and down to angola and i can shower you with diamonds and cash and we can buy off those cranky government officials that are giving you a hard time&#8230;  i tells you what i&#8217;ll even kick one of them in the buts for you.<\/p>\n<p>you see mr savimbi, what you don&#8217;t understand&#8230;. and take this from me because i&#8217;m an american we are as raw as an alligators belly-sack after being riddin by a monkey all day over granite quarry&#8230;.  ready?<\/p>\n<p>okay, if you have this money we just say to your government over-lords&#8230; &#8220;take a leap because we gonna but yer ass and you do what we tells you to do or else.  you see augusto&#8230;.  when you have steal boxes full of cash and diamonds the world is your clam, or oyster&#8230;  your clammy-oyster.  maybe you just need me to help you grow the nuts to realize this&#8230;  i&#8217;mm bring some john wayne and sylvester stallone and pee wee herman movies with me when we party down with the cash, diamonds, champagne, bitches and hostess ho-ho&#8217;s okay my fearful friend??<\/p>\n<p>othjerwise&#8230;.  i guess i can just shimmy on over to dublin pay your associate dr. goss the $6500 and get them boxes and take them back to my homeland and then invest in my uncle joeys business on your behalf.  he&#8217;s got a fish-farm that has fish&#8230;..  and they swim!  he&#8217;s going to make a one hiundred thousand dollar bill with them smilin&#8217; swimmin&#8217; fish!<\/p>\n<p>please let me know what you think about&#8230;  and what you prefer.<\/p>\n<p>again i am happy to take these boxes of cash to angola and take some sense into those mean awful nast men who are making you act so wimminish by having to have a strong amerikan man lkike myself go to dublin and pick up some silly steal boxes for you&#8230;.  your call, but mark my words dr. savimbi you will have to face the music sooner or later.. this is why i hope to poke and prod you with my tough love words that i am writing right now as i think about you long and hard\/<\/p>\n<p>thank you augusto&#8230;.  it won&#8217;t be long now&#8230;..  keep your head down and don&#8217;t fret&#8230;  i am your friend and will help you.<\/p>\n<p>god bless my friend, -patrick<\/p>\n<p>p.s, lend me $400 to buy a train ticket to dublin.  now!<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"savimbi\">\n<p>From: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nTo: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nSubject: What seems to be the problem.<br \/>\nDate: Thu, 30 Dec 2004<\/p>\n<p>Dear Patrick,<\/p>\n<p>How are you today, I hope you are fine? My dear friend why have you decided to abandon me at this time of need. I have waited to hear good news from you but uptil this minute I have not heard from you to know how far you have gone with the security company in Dublin.<\/p>\n<p>Please my dear friend, rescue my family from our present predicament. I look forward to hearing from you. God bless you.<\/p>\n<p>Best regards,<\/p>\n<p>Augusto.<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"fisher\">\n<p>From: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nTo: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nSubject: Re: What seems to be the problem.<br \/>\nDate: Thu, 30 Dec 2004<\/p>\n<p>hi augusto&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p>didn&#8217;t you get my last message?<\/p>\n<p>in it explained i am all prepared to go to dublin and offered solutions for and explained several different ways i am prepared to help&#8230;. \u00c2\u00a0i sent it about 2 days ago and I was hoping for some more substantial information from you in response.<\/p>\n<p>please go back and review your messages&#8230;.. \u00c2\u00a0i leave for dublin in 14 days.<\/p>\n<p>kindly, -patrick<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"fisher\">\n<p>From: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nTo: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nSubject: Re: What seems to be the problem.<br \/>\nDate: Fri, 31 Dec 2004<\/p>\n<p>Hiya Augusto!!!!!!!!<\/p>\n<p>How is you today??<\/p>\n<p>Happeee Happeee  New Years to you my good friend!!!!!<\/p>\n<p>I am so happeee today!  you know why?  I just thoughts of another excellent solution tou our problem.<\/p>\n<p>Can&#8217;t i just send the payment to release the treasure via paypal?  and then maybe that way dr. gossamer can just mail me the cash and diamonds.  but then again if we go that-a-way i won&#8217;t get to see dublin.  and i do want to see dublin, and feed the dublinese ducks when i get there&#8230;.  you see i am something of a bird fancier and flutter at the joyous thought of embarking to this wonder dublin country to take a good geeky gander at their native water-fowl in their natural habita-tat-tat.<\/p>\n<p>okay you decide&#8230;.  paypal or dubline&#8230;  there are pros and cons to both idears.<\/p>\n<p>thank you my friend&#8230;&#8230;  don&#8217;t go too krazy on new years eve now ya hear?  I want there to be some Nandu Savimbi left-over to hug when we celebrate the bountiful reward and life changing richness of the pirates plunder we will enjoy soon.<\/p>\n<p>Thank you Dr. Savimbi&#8230;  may the force be with you.<\/p>\n<p>sincerely, -patreek<\/p>\n<p>p.s. what seems to be the problem with YOU??!!!??<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"savimbi\">\n<p>From: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nTo: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nSubject: make thr trip to Dublin.<br \/>\nDate: Fri, 31 Dec 2004<\/p>\n<p>Dear Patrick,<\/p>\n<p>Thanks for the mail and the wishes for the new year, I wish you the same. My dear friend, time is really not our friend here that is why I am pleading with you to take some urgent step to see that the consignment is safely deposited in your custody.<\/p>\n<p>I will advise you proceed to Dublin so that you can access the content of the consignment physical before it is transfer so as to be sure it was not tempered with. Please do this for me, the ideal of paying money and waiting for the consignment does not appeal to me. I beg you my friend, do this for my family and we would for ever be greatful to you.<\/p>\n<p>Once you are set to travel to Dublin please do let me know. I hope to hear from you. God bless you.<\/p>\n<p>Best regards,<\/p>\n<p>Augusto.<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"fisher\">\n<p>From: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nTo: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nSubject: Re: make thr trip to Dublin.<br \/>\nDate: Fri, 31 Dec 2004<\/p>\n<p>hello my little little friend!<\/p>\n<p>okay okay&#8230;..  sheeeze Augusto&#8230;.  relax a little would ya?<\/p>\n<p>i am going to go to dublin for you and i might add its kind of real bothersome irksome thing for you to have to insist that i do.  specially in light of the fact that i need to find hospice care for my ailing kooky-kitten-kat.  i think i told you about how he got his hoof caught under the neighbors door?  well he did and and his poor weency lil paw is all chorn up like a tragic little sausage.<\/p>\n<p>the other thing that is weighing heavy on my consciousness is this mr. christopher goss from euro-security.  this is hard for me tell you mix-master savimbi since you are my friend but i feel you have the  right to know.  okay, here it goes:  i don&#8217;t trust him.  and i think you will be well-advised to be weary and leary of him as well.  he strikes me as a pompous fellow who is giving me the high-hat&#8230;  i&#8217;m sick of  the high-hat!  (unless its a pork-pie but  thats another story)  When I askeded him if I was going to need a raincoat in Dublin he replied and I quote: &#8221; Yes, the weather in dublin is cold and you will need raincoat (jacket).&#8221;  what a jerk!!!  i mean what i say and i say what i mean&#8230;.  and in this case i meant and said  RAINCOAT specifically a RAINCOAT not a whimpy little &#8220;jacket&#8221;&#8230;  why fore would he twist my words around to imply that he knew better than i what type of climate protection i would need?  Why?  Why?  Its not polite and I am very distrustful of him now. He&#8217;s a pee-hole and when i see him in dublin i&#8217;m going to &#8220;acidently&#8221; step on his toes&#8230;  oops!  ha ha !  that&#8217;ll be funny!  that&#8217;ll show that pompous jerky ass-face!!!  I can&#8217;t wait!<\/p>\n<p>so i&#8217;m still not sure why he wants $6500 for storage and transaction fee&#8230;  oh sure he &#8220;explained&#8221; it to me but i don&#8217;t trust him.  so let me go to dublin, and i&#8217;ll have that freak mr. goss pry open them jewls and cash dollars just to make sure they are there&#8230;.  this is for your protection dr. savimbi!!  i want to make sure  that the jewels and cash monies is there in the steal cans before i give him the $6500 that i have been saving for a special rainy snowy day&#8230;.  a special rainy, snowy day with sleet and thunder and lighting and the booming commanding voice of god himself through that thunder!  oh yes!  and if the pirates plunder is there i shall extract the $6500 dollars and whap him in the snout with the crisp bills.  how does that sound my good good friend Dr. Nandu Augusto Savimbi Santini??!!!<\/p>\n<p>Okay i leave for dublin next friday june 7th and i don&#8217;t want top see or hear nothing from prissy lil Mr. Christopher Goss until that day when I whiuff him in the snout with the greenbacks&#8230;  all my communication should be with you, my good friend Augusto&#8230;.  a small favor for me is all i ask, spare me the indiginity of forcing me to deal with Goss&#8230;. he&#8217;s mean and i hate him.<\/p>\n<p>happy new years!<\/p>\n<p>fondly, -patrick<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"savimbi\">\n<p>From: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nTo: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nSubject: Is it 7th June or 7th January 2005.<br \/>\nDate: Mon, 3 Jan 2005<\/p>\n<p>Dear Patrick,<\/p>\n<p>How was your new year day celebration, I hope it was nice? I got your mail and I must confess that I am happy that you have heeded my plea to go to Dublin and personally get the consignment. Please my friend, I want to plead with you to create an atmosphere of friendship with Mr. Goss before proceeding to Dublin because you will need his assistance in transfering the cash to your account and also they will be of assistance in terms of the deposition of the jewels expect you are telling me you can take care of this without any assistance.<\/p>\n<p>We don&#8217;t need to have any quarrel with him as that could make things difficult for you and I. Forget about his pompomsity, all we need is our consignment and once that is out of their jurisdiction they can go to hell. But for now let us play cool with them. As for your travelling date you have to inform him to get their company ready as we don&#8217;t want a situation where they will keep you more than your required time schedule with an excuse that they were not officially informed of your arrival.<\/p>\n<p>I will not tell them, you have to do it yourself. Please get friendly with Mr. Goss and lets get the consignment out of their possession. This will be the happiest thing that would happen in life of my family for the new year. 2005.<\/p>\n<p>Least I forget, in your mail to me you stated that you will hit Dublin on the 7th of june 2005, do you mean 7th january 2005 or 7th june 2005.<\/p>\n<p>Please let me know the precise day as june can not be proper except you are telling us that you can not assist us. Our condition is critical here and anything that will delay the completion of this transaction more than neccessary will mean punishing my family.<\/p>\n<p>I await your mail. In the event of your departure date being 7th january 2005. I want you to keep me informed once you are in Dublin. God bless you.<\/p>\n<p>Best regards,<\/p>\n<p>Augusto.<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"savimbi\">\n<p>From: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nTo: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nSubject: Please get serious.<br \/>\nDate: Wed, 5 Jan 2005<\/p>\n<p>Dear Patrick,<\/p>\n<p>First let me say that the business with my country&#8217;s Government is not a child&#8217;s play because the Government have the instrument force and the financial means to fight any individual and that the family have a miga sum of US$35M in a fixed deposit does not give us the guarantee that we can stand their force. So all I am asking you is to help me get the funds from where it is right now for investment into a meaningful business that can raise the financial profile of the family and not to tell me how to fight our course.<\/p>\n<p>From your mails so far it looks as if you are not taking this transaction serious. My dear this is a serious transaction because the amount of money involve is huge and the diamonds are a treasure to behold, moreso our lifes are essentially important because of the nature of our country&#8217;s politics. So this act you are putting up is making me feel that you must be thinking this is a joke.<\/p>\n<p>I am not in anyway joking at all and if you feel that what we have asked you to do is some internet joke then I advise you just allow me to look for somebody serious who knows what the struggle of Angola opposition party is all about. We can not stand here and see our people suffer unjustly when we have the resources to assist them so we need an urgent solution not this drag that you are offering me.<\/p>\n<p>If you are serious and willing to get this consignment for my family, I advise you start to make adequate arrangement with the security company in Dublin. We would not stand and watch you reck all that we have struggle for because you feel this is one internet jokes.<\/p>\n<p>We have received strong words from the security company and we are afraid that we might lose our hard earn resources if the consignment is made an open issue in Angola. It will be better to face the hang man than allow the Government get wind of this funds. SO please get serious and help us out if that is your true idea.<\/p>\n<p>I have told you severally that whatever you spend will be reimburse to you upon confirmation that the funds is safely deposited in your account. Having been made to understand what the US$6,500.00 is meant for I will advise that you take that as part of the sacrifies that you are making for my family and the libration of my people. This money and all that you spend including your travel expenses will be reimburse to you later when we all meet. This is the time to show some mercy, love and kindness to us. We will do our part when the funds have be successfully secured in your possession.<\/p>\n<p>Please contact Dublin right away and work out a very friendly arrangement. I await your urgent mail. God bless you.<\/p>\n<p>Best regards,<\/p>\n<p>Augusto.<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"fisher\">\n<p>From: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nTo: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nSubject: Re: Is it 7th June or 7th January 2005.<br \/>\nDate: Thu, 6 Jan 2005<\/p>\n<p>Dear Mister Augusto:<\/p>\n<p>It is January 7th&#8230;.. \u00c2\u00a0this is this Friday via continental airlines&#8230;. \u00c2\u00a0i have copied the itinerary below&#8230;. \u00c2\u00a0as you can see it is accosting me $2,400 perfectly good Amerikan mighty dollars to makes this trip&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0i fully expect to be re-imbursed in diamonds for this particular expense directly from the steal boxes immediately upon my arrival at the office of dr. goss.<\/p>\n<p>it also appears as you have dismissed my concerns about dealing with the Goss fellow. \u00c2\u00a0I propsed to you in corespondence that i deal directly with you up until the time i meet dr. gossamer in dublin&#8230; please my dear friend head my concerns about this Goss character&#8230;. i am willing only to help if i am permitted to deal with those i trust&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0and i trust and dare i say, adore you, my little Savimbi. \u00c2\u00a0I am willing to play nice with Goss in dublin but I don&#8217;t want to have to listen to his screaching voice again on the telebone, nor do I desire to read his namby-pamby pretty-boy prose via e-mail. \u00c2\u00a0I wish to deal with you and you can coordinate up to the meeting with Goss in Dublin. \u00c2\u00a0You would think that if I am going to secure your 35 million dollars for you you could indulge me this one favor? \u00c2\u00a0Is it worth 35 million dollars to you to insist that I deal with those I don&#8217;t trust? \u00c2\u00a0If so, we need to rethink our partnership and relationship&#8230; personal and otherwise.<\/p>\n<p>I am making this huge scarifice by traveling to dublin for you and putting up $6500 and paying all my expenses and i think i told you about how my kooky-kitten-kat was ill and now I have to bring him along for the trip because I can&#8217;t let him leave my site in his condition&#8230; have you ever heard a kitten-kat meow and howl all the way from seattle to dublin? \u00c2\u00a0its not a pretty sound my friend. so yes, I am doing all this for you because I believe in you Augusto and I want to help&#8230;. plus I want to snag a few million and some ice for myself.. is that okay? \u00c2\u00a0I don&#8217;t want to fully wait until you arrive with your family to disburse teh funds.. I have big ideas and need to invest quickly. \u00c2\u00a0My brother in law joey has his fish farm and I also am breaking ground on a roller-rink that requires investment&#8230;.. both invenstments are sound and growth industries&#8230;.. \u00c2\u00a0I know this, but don&#8217;t ask me how&#8230;. \u00c2\u00a0I just do. \u00c2\u00a0Trust me as I am trusting you my dear dear fellow.<\/p>\n<p>Do you like Mr. Goss ? \u00c2\u00a0I wonder if you don&#8217;t like me any more or trust me if perhaps you should ask him if he would like to invest the money for you instead of I? \u00c2\u00a0I ask you this because you stated that and I quote: \u00c2\u00a0&#8220;all we need is our consignment and once that is out of his jurisdiction he can go to hell.&#8221; \u00c2\u00a0Would you say that once you get the consigment from me that I could go to hell too? \u00c2\u00a0I am a bit worried about your loyalty \u00c2\u00a0Dr. Savimbi.<\/p>\n<p>I am also somewhat taken aback by your telling me &#8220;to please get serious&#8221; \u00c2\u00a0I am seriously serious&#8230;. \u00c2\u00a0 i have a very stern look on my face right now on my face as a matter of fact. \u00c2\u00a0 \u00c2\u00a0I have an \u00c2\u00a0addiction to pain killers and accidently poppled a few of my kooky-kitten-kat&#8217;s medicines which has caused me to get over-wrought-excited-and manic in my prose to you&#8230;.. \u00c2\u00a0perhaps the cash and diamond pirates treasure i shall soon be in posession of will help me to either buy all teh painkillers I can get my hands on and take so many i get sick of them or die, or alternatively enroll in the Dr. Sigmund C. Muenster&#8217;s detox clinic.<\/p>\n<p>Thank you Mr Savimbi augusto&#8230;.. \u00c2\u00a0i think 1995 is going to be a great year!<\/p>\n<p>fondly fondling, -patrick<\/p>\n<p>Continental Airlines Flight 1580 \/ 22<br \/>\n8:15am Seattle\/Tacoma, WA \u00c2\u00a0(SEA)<br \/>\n8:00am &#8211; Sat, Jan 8<br \/>\nNext day arrival Dublin, Ireland (DUB)<br \/>\n15hrs \u00c2\u00a045min \u00c2\u00a0&#8211; 1 \u00c2\u00a0Stop<\/p>\n<p>Change planes in \u00c2\u00a0Newark, NJ (EWR)<br \/>\n$2,473 per person<br \/>\nBusiness Class<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"savimbi\">\n<p>From: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nTo: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nSubject: Please get in touch with Eurosecurity, it&#8217;s important.<br \/>\nDate: Thu, 6 Jan 2005<\/p>\n<p>Dear Patrick.<\/p>\n<p>Thanks for the mail, I am happy to know that you will be in Dublin this friday (7\/1\/05). My dear friend, I have no reason to doubt your seriousness but I was just being cautious because I don&#8217;t want a situation where the security company in Dublin will refuse to attend to you. That is why I ask that you should let them know your arrival date and act friendly.<\/p>\n<p>I am not asking you to trust Mr. Goss to your detriment, I am only say that since he is the man in charge of that office we should work with him and follow his instruction.<\/p>\n<p>My family owns the consignment and you are our front man, this has now made you the new beneficiary to the consignment. Yes you will have to deal with us because we own the consignment but you will also have to deal with Mr. Goss and the security company because they are presently the custodian of the consignment. They will be the people to hand over the consignment to you and the responsibility to ascertain your true status falls on them that is why you must be friendly with them now before your arrival there so that things will move accordingly.<\/p>\n<p>I do not know Mr. Goss, I have not met him and I don&#8217;t know his predegree, the only time I spoke with him was when we were making arrangement for you to be the new beneficiary, so I can not attest to his character, the only thing I know is that he is an employee of Euro security and will not in anyway act contrary to the regulations of his employer.<\/p>\n<p>Once you arrival Dublin tomorrow let me have your contact. You are also expected to get in touch with the security company on arrival. My dear friend you will get back all that you spend and more so do not panic for this family is an honest family and we are a God fearing family and will never act contrary to our promise. I hope to hear from you. God bless you<\/p>\n<p>Best regards,<\/p>\n<p>Augusto.<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"fisher\">\n<p>From: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nTo: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nSubject: Re: Please get in touch with Eurosecurity, it&#8217;s important.<br \/>\nDate: Thu, 6 Jan 2005<\/p>\n<p>dear sweet augusto&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p>okay so its set&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0i wake up first thing saturday morn and i hop on the plane to dublin&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0yee-ha! \u00c2\u00a0looking forward to everything&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0i also found out that dublin isn&#8217;t a country after all, its a CITY in a country call Ireland. \u00c2\u00a0has a nice ring to it don&#8217;t it? \u00c2\u00a0I-r-e-l-a-n-d. \u00c2\u00a0sounds so peaceful and calming i may just stay a few extra days and spend some of your money on \u00c2\u00a0a nice hotel and go leprechan hunting.<\/p>\n<p>anyhoo&#8230;&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0down to business&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0sorry about the mix up on the date&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0if you check my itinerary it does state that \u00c2\u00a0I arrive on saturday january 08&#8230;. \u00c2\u00a0i forgots about that wacky international date-line&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0you loose I day&#8230;.. \u00c2\u00a0but its okay, \u00c2\u00a0I&#8217;ll be charging you an extra couple schmolies in expenses for that lost day&#8230;. \u00c2\u00a0my dear augusto you never know what coulda happened on that day and it&#8217;ll be just like &#8220;zappo!&#8221; \u00c2\u00a0gone into nothing and it will be all your fault&#8230;. \u00c2\u00a0so i&#8217;ll just bill you for that day as if some really great things were going to happen to me&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0ii&#8217;m speculatin&#8217; that day woulda been worth at least a couple grand to me&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0thanks for the understanding around this. \u00c2\u00a0(my uncle joey will regale you with bawdy tales of some his experinces with his own &#8216;international dateline&#8217; when we get together to split up the treasure&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0tales that will wake up yer willy.)<\/p>\n<p>yes, so right&#8230;.. \u00c2\u00a0 back to the issue at hand&#8230;. \u00c2\u00a0the handy issue&#8230;. \u00c2\u00a0 \u00c2\u00a0i&#8217;ll e-maul dr. goss a brief howdy-do saying i&#8217;m coming to dublin, and when i hit the street he better be ready and be on his best behavior&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0i&#8217;ll call him from the airstation and let him know i&#8217;m on my way. \u00c2\u00a0i&#8217;ve decided for your security and mine i&#8217;ll be packing some heat. \u00c2\u00a0thats right my dear fellow, i&#8217;m bringing my trusty snub-nose and i don&#8217;t want any funny business from goss or his associates. \u00c2\u00a0 just tell them to hand over the cash and the ice and nobody gets hurt&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0then when i sign the papers and we successfully transfer the consignment we can all go out for a pint of guiness and eat a bunch of bowls of lucky charms, or what ever them crazy rascally dublinese do to celebrate. \u00c2\u00a0do you fancy me lucky charms savimbi? \u00c2\u00a0you do don&#8217;t you!!?? \u00c2\u00a0oh savimbi i knew it! \u00c2\u00a0i&#8217;m so so happeee! \u00c2\u00a0one taste of my charms boy and you&#8217;l never go know what hit you&#8230;. \u00c2\u00a0you scummy lovable little heathen you!. \u00c2\u00a0aaahh bliss.<\/p>\n<p>soon i will call for you and your entire unshaven clan and you can come to amerika and see all we have done and built with the pirates treasure you have so wisely chosen me to reign over&#8230;. \u00c2\u00a0roller rinks, fish farms, you name it! \u00c2\u00a0then i will be so happy to see you and we can finally get it on. \u00c2\u00a0oooh&#8230;. \u00c2\u00a0yes! \u00c2\u00a0that will be a glorious day. i can introduce you to some of my favorite american snacks&#8230; fiddle-faddle, goober-peas and snow cones. \u00c2\u00a0all are nutricious and delicious and over tome you too like me will learn to love this diet. its just one of the many adjustments you willl be making once you arrive here and we split up the cash-a-roo.<\/p>\n<p>right, okay&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0sorry augusto&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0i&#8217;m rambling on like a starry eyed skool girl&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0just can&#8217;t wait to start our new life together&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0but tell that bastard goss not to pull any funny bizness i&#8217;m packing heat, i&#8217;m going to have one kranky-kooky-kitten-kat in a box in one hand and my gun in another&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0and i&#8217;ll be short on sleep and going through withdrawals from the pain-killers&#8230;. \u00c2\u00a0in short.. \u00c2\u00a0i&#8217;m going to be wild-eyed, unpredictable, and plain freaked-out, ya hear me? \u00c2\u00a0i will be freaky from the jet-lag and all you have forced me through lately&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0this is serious business and i still have that stern look on my face to prove it.<\/p>\n<p>right. \u00c2\u00a0its game time savimbi&#8230;. \u00c2\u00a0i&#8217;ll be seeing your associates in dublin.<\/p>\n<p>love, patreek<\/p>\n<p>p.s. \u00c2\u00a0whats your sign??<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"goss\">\n<p>From: Christoper Goss<br \/>\nTo: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nSubject: contact me urgently<br \/>\nDate: Tue, 4 Jan 2005<\/p>\n<p>Dear Mr.Partrick, Sir , we have not hear from you since my last e-mail to you before the holiday, becuase we need to know when exactly you are coming to Dublin to enable us to prepare and process your consignment for you, please give us a call ASAP or provid your telepone number for us to call you on,I await your urgent reply.<\/p>\n<p>Christopher Goss,<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"fisher\">\n<p>From: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nTo: Christoper Goss<br \/>\nSubject: Re: contact me urgently<br \/>\nDate: Wed, 5 Jan 2005<\/p>\n<p>GOSS: STOP.<\/p>\n<p>ME ARRIVES SATURDAY JUNE 8TH IN DUBLIN VIA CONTINENTAL AIRWAYS. STOP.<\/p>\n<p>ITINERARY FOLLOWS. STOP.<\/p>\n<p>NO FUNNY BUSINESS. STOP.<\/p>\n<p>I AM A SERIOUS MAN WITH SERIOUS BIZZNESS. STOP.<\/p>\n<p>WILL CONTACT YOU UPNOI ARROVAL. STOP.<\/p>\n<p>I HAVE ALL THE DETAILS I NEED. STOP.<\/p>\n<p>WILL MEET YOU AT YOUR OFFICE. STOP.<\/p>\n<p>GOOD BYE GOSS. STOP.<\/p>\n<p>STERNLY YOURS. STOP.<\/p>\n<p>FROM PATRICK FOR NANDU AUGUSTO SAVIMBI. STOP.<\/p>\n<p>GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER I&#8217;M ON MY WAY. STOP.<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"goss\">\n<p>From: Christoper Goss<br \/>\nTo: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nSubject: Re: contact me urgently<br \/>\nDate: Fri, 7 Jan 2005<\/p>\n<p>Hello,<\/p>\n<p>Sir,\u00c2\u00a0I\u00c2\u00a0will\u00c2\u00a0not \u00c2\u00a0entertain any funny\u00c2\u00a0altitude\u00c2\u00a0from\u00c2\u00a0you, if\u00c2\u00a0you\u00c2\u00a0not\u00c2\u00a0sure\u00c2\u00a0why\u00c2\u00a0you are\u00c2\u00a0coming to\u00c2\u00a0Dublin?, I sugest to you\u00c2\u00a0that you\u00c2\u00a0contact Mr\u00c2\u00a0Sovimbi!!<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"fisher\">\n<p>From: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nTo: Christoper Goss<br \/>\nSubject: Re: contact me urgently<br \/>\nDate: Fri, 7 Jan 2005<\/p>\n<p>mr. goss:<\/p>\n<p>i am not asking you to entertain any funny altitude from me at all. \u00c2\u00a0i simply was alerting you to my impending arrival in a manner which is customary for urgent and serious matters. \u00c2\u00a0for instance the manner of which i communicated is similiar to what the military uses&#8230; straightforward, serious and all business.<\/p>\n<p>i know exactly why i am coming to dublin and have been in contact with mr. sovimbi. \u00c2\u00a0why on earth would i go through the expense and time to come to dublin if i knew not what for?<\/p>\n<p>If anyone us exhibiting funny altitudes today it is not I&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0I am very serious and have a stern look on my face to prove it. \u00c2\u00a0this you will see when i meet with you in dublin on the 8th. \u00c2\u00a0i will also alert you that for everyone&#8217;s safety i will be packing heat.<\/p>\n<p>thank you good sire, i will contact you as soon as i hit the tarmac in dublin.<\/p>\n<p>sincerely mine, -patrick<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"savimbi\">\n<p>From: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nTo: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nSubject: We look on to God as you set for Dublin.<br \/>\nDate: Fri, 7 Jan 2005<\/p>\n<p>My dear firend,<\/p>\n<p>I must confess that each time you write to me I am left confused. I can not place your statements so please always simplify your statements.<\/p>\n<p>Please send me your telephone number again as I have misplace the first one you sent to me. Like discussed earlier immediately you get to Dublin send me a forwarding contact, so that I can communicate with you when you are in Dublin.<\/p>\n<p>You should please keep to your words of sending mail to Mr. Goss before you leave for Dublin. It is important and of benefit to us, as we do not want anything that will delay the release of the consignment.<\/p>\n<p>I look forward to hearing from you. God bless you.<\/p>\n<p>Best regards,<\/p>\n<p>Augusto.<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"fisher\">\n<p>From: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nTo: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nSubject: Re: We look on to God as you set for Dublin.<br \/>\nDate: Fri, 7 Jan 2005<\/p>\n<p>dear mr. savimbini&#8230;&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>fear not as i aim not to confuse thou&#8230;.. \u00c2\u00a0thou art a treasure to behold as are the icy diamonds.<\/p>\n<p>perhaps i can put it to you ( and soon i will relish !) in a manner you can understand:<\/p>\n<p>ME GOING TO DUBLIN.<\/p>\n<p>ME LEAVE TODAY<\/p>\n<p>ME ARRIVE SATURDAY<\/p>\n<p>ME CONTACT MY GOOD FRIEND SAVIMBI WHEN I HIT THE STREET.<\/p>\n<p>ME GIVE SAVIMBI MY DUBLIN CONTACT INFO<\/p>\n<p>ME BRING GUN FOR PROTECTION<\/p>\n<p>ME PEACEFUL.<\/p>\n<p>ME KITTEN, YOU KAT!<\/p>\n<p>okay??? \u00c2\u00a0i already sent mr. goss a e-mail&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0we are all on the same page.<\/p>\n<p>thank you and god bless you for giving me the strength to carry on all my baggage and kooky-kitten-kat on the plane.<\/p>\n<p>thank you savimbi.. it shant be long now. -patrick<\/p>\n<p>p.s. \u00c2\u00a0come and get one in the yarbles, if you have any yarbles&#8230;. you eunich jelly thou!<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"fisher\">\n<p>From: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nTo: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nSubject: Re: We look on to God as you set for Dublin.<br \/>\nDate: Sat, 8 Jan 2005<\/p>\n<p>AUGUSTO:<\/p>\n<p>ME IN DUBLIN.<\/p>\n<p>ME THROW UP ON PLANE.<\/p>\n<p>ME KOOKY-KITTEN-KAT IS COVERED IN PUKE.<\/p>\n<p>ME VERY VERY TIRED.<\/p>\n<p>ME MET GOSS.<\/p>\n<p>ME GOT BOXES OF CASH AND ICEY DIAMONDS.<\/p>\n<p>THANK YOU!!<\/p>\n<p>THANK YOU!!<\/p>\n<p>THANK YOU!!!<\/p>\n<p>I AM A HAPPY MAN!<\/p>\n<p>love you til the world shits, -PATRICK<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"savimbi\">\n<p>From: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nTo: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nSubject: what is happening?<br \/>\nDate: Sun, 9 Jan 2005<\/p>\n<p>My dear friend,<\/p>\n<p>I have not heard from you as expected, which means that you have not made the trip to Dublin as promised. Please keep me posted because I am anxious to know when the consignment will be release to you. God bless you.<\/p>\n<p>Best regards,<\/p>\n<p>Augusto.<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"savimbi\">\n<p>From: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nTo: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nSubject: What are you up to?<br \/>\nDate: Mon, 10 Jan 2005<\/p>\n<p>Dear Patrick,<\/p>\n<p>I do not know why you have decided to make mockery of the transaction. You told me you will be in Dublin and when you are there you will give me a forwarding address and contact phone. But you did not do that, now you say you have the consignment with you. The security company is claiming that you did not come forward for the release of the consignment and that any more delay will lead to the consignment be sent back to Angola.<\/p>\n<p>Now who do I believe, you claim to have the consignment and they claim that you have not been seen and that consignment is still in their possession. Please update me for I am confuse and don&#8217;t like the present senerio. I hope to hear something positive from you. God bless you.<\/p>\n<p>Augusto.<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"fisher\">\n<p>From: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nTo: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nSubject: Re: What are you up to?<br \/>\nDate: Mon, 10 Jan 2005<\/p>\n<p>My Dearest Augusto&#8230;&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Thank you for your nice e-maul.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m not exactly sure what you mean&#8230;.. \u00c2\u00a0I have received the consignment and have paid the $6500 in storage, transaction fees and fee fees directly in cash to Euro Security.<\/p>\n<p>I didn&#8217;t even get a chance to give you my contact info, \u00c2\u00a0as the moment i schlepped off the Big Scary airplane the fine folks from eurosecurity were waiting for me and whisked me off to a secure undisclosed location where we did the dirty deed. \u00c2\u00a0Mr. Gossamer sent his cousin Bossamer, &#8220;Boss Goss&#8221; in his place as Christopher Goss had a bad case of the trots it seems&#8230;. \u00c2\u00a0he was sick that is&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0sicked up in the entrails as it were&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0not pretty&#8230;. \u00c2\u00a0and Boss Goss turned out to be a very nice fellow&#8230;. \u00c2\u00a0a bit too high-strung, but nice. \u00c2\u00a0I didn&#8217;t even have to pull out my gun to pistol whip him nor at any time did I feel the urge to bust a cap in his arse&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0I&#8217;m saving that thrust for you my dear&#8230;. \u00c2\u00a0oopsie! \u00c2\u00a0(I just can&#8217;t help myself sovimibi you have that effect on me&#8230;. naughty&#8230; naughty!)<\/p>\n<p>Anyway&#8230;.. \u00c2\u00a0yes I have the consignment&#8230;. I gave Gosses associates the cash, we signed the papers for the transfer and I arranged for the consigment to be placed in a safety deposit safety-safe-omatic box and it is in safe keeping until I have it transferred to my beautifully corupt homeland&#8230;.. \u00c2\u00a0 thank you!<\/p>\n<p>Once the consigment arrives in America this month I will begin investing it for us&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0the roller rinks, Smilin&#8217; Swimmin&#8217; Fish Fish Farm franchises, aunt betsey&#8217;s cucumber ranch etc. \u00c2\u00a0we will all be healthy wealthy and finally have each our own barthrooms and all the Cap n&#8217; Crunch I never dreamt of!!<\/p>\n<p>So yes, I did come forward&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0with my gun in one and hand and my kooky-kitten-kat in a box in another&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0and I did meet with associates representing dr. goss and i did give them $6500 in cash and they did give me the consignment and we did sign the papers and they did let me use a few towels to wipe the puke off my rascally feline&#8230;. \u00c2\u00a0and we did celebrate afterwards&#8230;.. \u00c2\u00a0man sovimbi you missed a great party! \u00c2\u00a0guinness pints, girls, boys, midgets, bowls of lucky charms&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0you name it! \u00c2\u00a0You should really quit living this dysfunctional 3rd world existence in angola and join us here in the human race in the first world.. \u00c2\u00a0i don&#8217;t understand why you insist on living in such a shit-hole&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0come on savimbi.. I have all your money now&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0I&#8217;m gonna put you up on a pedastal like a eighteen year-old girl! \u00c2\u00a0Here in the states! \u00c2\u00a0Why, you&#8217;ll love it! \u00c2\u00a0I&#8217;ll shower you with gifts, fresh sheets, champagne and hostess ho-ho&#8217;s! \u00c2\u00a0And we can start our own Savimibi Almighty Company Corp.<\/p>\n<p>Thank you Augusto&#8230;. \u00c2\u00a0rest assured I did give the money to the security company in Dublin&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0why for you try to cornfuse me?<\/p>\n<p>Hardened regards, -patrick<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"savimbi\">\n<p>From: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nTo: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nSubject: Check this out patrick &#038; steve<br \/>\nDate: Tue, 11 Jan 2005<\/p>\n<p>Dear Patrick\/Steve.<\/p>\n<p>I thought you are an honest person who is trying to help out a family that is need but I have come to find out that you are here to mock my family and to cause us more pain.<\/p>\n<p>Having seen the 2 mails that you sent to me in which you were telling your friend steve of your desceptive tricks on my family. I have come to realise that you are nothing but a fraudster who was waiting in the corner to reap from where you did not swore.<\/p>\n<p>I am highly disappointed because we have spent energy believing that we have seen the perfect front for our money and diamonds. As it stands now we will have to inform the security company that you are fraudent and they should not attend to you any longer as we do not have confidence in you any more.<\/p>\n<p>Thanks for wasting our time. I pray that God will laught at you the way you have done to my family.<\/p>\n<p>Augusto.<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"fisher\">\n<p>From: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nTo: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nSubject: you&#8217;re nuts savimbi!<br \/>\nDate: Tue, 11 Jan 2005<\/p>\n<p>whoah! \u00c2\u00a0easy there my little Nandu&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0whats all this crazy talk? steve is my (our silent) business partner&#8230;&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0the lawster for our future operations. \u00c2\u00a0perhaps your command of the english language has confused you my dear friend? \u00c2\u00a0 I was simply including him in the e-mauls so all the t&#8217;s were dotted and all the i&#8217;s were crossed.<\/p>\n<p>anyhoo&#8230;&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0I am far from &#8216;a fraudster who am waiting in the corner to reap from where I do not swore&#8217;&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0 if anything I am a serious and stern business mangler who wait in the sunshiney center to reap the benefits from when my good friend Augusto Savimbi comes to his senses, quits being paranoid and stops all this talk of being taken advantage of&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0its krazy talk savimbi! \u00c2\u00a0you&#8217;re nuts!! \u00c2\u00a0(speaking of your nuts&#8230;. \u00c2\u00a0mmmmmh!)<\/p>\n<p>Now, I do have your consignment&#8230;&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0and the security company does have the $6500.00&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0so were even-steven. \u00c2\u00a0(this is an amerikian expression&#8230; don&#8217;t go krazy on me now ya hear?)<\/p>\n<p>I think the security company is trying to pit you and me against each other to create confusion&#8230;.. \u00c2\u00a0they want you out of the picture Savimbi in order to streamline their operation&#8230;.. \u00c2\u00a0hence they aim to confuse you and plant seeds of craziness into your poor wil&#8217; bwain.<\/p>\n<p>I aim to help and have big plans&#8230;&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0I am a man of means&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0of slender means&#8230;.. \u00c2\u00a0why, each house-hold appliance is like a new science in my town!<\/p>\n<p>Please don&#8217;t take the security company&#8217;s bait&#8230;. \u00c2\u00a0 its mean old deceptive Goss&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0I told you not to trust him&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0he is trying to drive a wedge between us&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0he&#8217;s jealous! \u00c2\u00a0Jealous of the wealth, warmth and happiness we have found together!<\/p>\n<p>sternly yours,<br \/>\n-patrick<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"savimbi\">\n<p>From: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nTo: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nSubject: Have a nice day in your dream world<br \/>\nDate: Thu, 13 Jan 2005<\/p>\n<p>Dear Patrick Fisher,<\/p>\n<p>I think you are the worst criminal I have ever come across. The western world and Europe have always call Africans premitive and crude but I think that phrase should be use for you and your country men.<\/p>\n<p>Look at you trying to cheat a family in need, this family is known for it stands against oppression and we are freedom fighters, so don&#8217;t think because we ask you for this little help you can now talk to me the way you deem fit.<\/p>\n<p>There are one and thousand persons out there that will be ready and willing to assist us, get our funds and diamond so your senseless attitude will not in anyway stop us from getting our funds. From your mails I can deduce that you are a spoilt little brat who do not know what life is all about, I am sure you have not even heard of the name Savimbi before in your life until you got my mail. That goes to show that you are either an infant or retard. I advise that you grow up and learn the intricacies of world politics,social and economic activities.<\/p>\n<p>I can assure you that in the next minutes I will get people pressuring me to assist us in getting this funds out for the pursuit of our struggle. I am not boasting but when I get somebody I trust and have confidence on. I will let you know and when the consignment is finally collected I will send you words to come and see who I am.<\/p>\n<p>Have a nice day in your dream world.<\/p>\n<p>Best regards,<\/p>\n<p>Augusto.<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"fisher\">\n<p>From: Patrick Fisher<br \/>\nTo: Augusto Nandu Savimbi<br \/>\nSubject: Re: Have a nice day in your dream world<br \/>\nDate: Thu, 13 Jan 2005<\/p>\n<p>hi &#8220;augusto&#8221;&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p>that was great!<\/p>\n<p>thanks for the scathing attack&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0I love how you still refuse to admit you are a nigerian scam artist&#8230;. \u00c2\u00a0thats rich!<\/p>\n<p>When you say &#8220;I am sure you have not even heard of the name Savimbi before in your life until you got my mail. That goes to show that you are either an infant or retard. I advise that you grow up and learn the intricacies of world politics, social and economic activities.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>You are correct I am not familiar with Savimbi (except you my little savimbi cherub!) \u00c2\u00a0I am sensitive to political struggles and oppression, but you trying to run a scam to exploit whatever situation exists in Angola is pretty bad my friend&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0you should be ashamed of yourself&#8230;. \u00c2\u00a0also, why do I have to be either an infant or a retard? \u00c2\u00a0can&#8217;t i be both? \u00c2\u00a0i would like be a retarded infant with your permission&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0thank you.<\/p>\n<p>also&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0when you say &#8220;so don&#8217;t think because we ask you for this little help you can now talk to me the way you deem fit.&#8221; \u00c2\u00a0I suggest you adopt a more stylish and threatening tone&#8230;.. \u00c2\u00a0try this:<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I don&#8217;t like you should do what you done. And I&#8217;m not your brother no more and wouldn&#8217;t want to be. \u00c2\u00a0Yarbles, great bolshy yarblockos to you&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0I&#8217;ll meet you with chain, or nozh or britva, any time, I&#8217;m not having you aiming tolchocks at me reasonless. It stands to reason, I won&#8217;t have it.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>and then I can say: \u00c2\u00a0&#8220;Watch that&#8230; Do watch that, O Nandu, if to continue to be on live thou dost wish!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>here&#8217;s another clue&#8230;. \u00c2\u00a0when one of your potential victims starts talking about his &#8220;kooky-kitten-kat&#8221; and other wacky-oddities you should begin to question whether or not he&#8217;s for real. \u00c2\u00a0Plus it gives you away as a fraud&#8230;&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0who in their right mind would intrust millions of dollars in cash and diamonds to a nut-job unless they were scamming? (also, forget the diamonds augusto&#8230;. \u00c2\u00a0c&#8217;mon&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0this isn&#8217;t 1642)<\/p>\n<p>You seem relatively new to this game&#8230;.. \u00c2\u00a0over time you will learn to know when someone is fucking with you&#8230;.. \u00c2\u00a0but if you insist on sending out spam like this and attempt to defraud honest hardworking trusting people you should expect to be fucked with&#8230;.. \u00c2\u00a0go find honest work my dear friend.<\/p>\n<p>lastly&#8230;&#8230;. \u00c2\u00a0now, i do have your consigment and i deposited it in a safe deposit in dublin&#8230;.. \u00c2\u00a0but now I don&#8217;t have enough money to bail it out&#8230;.. \u00c2\u00a0I NEED YOUR HELP Augusto&#8230;&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0please go to dublin for me and pay my security company $6500 to release the consigment&#8230;.. \u00c2\u00a0in it you will find $35 million dolars and $16 million of icey diamonds&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0please me dear good friend&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0I need this money to pay for my trip home from Dublin and also to pay my kooky-kitten-kat&#8217;s vet bills. \u00c2\u00a0For your kindness and willingness I am will to let you share 20% of this treasure and let you invest it in your country where it is good.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m having a great day in my dream world&#8230; \u00c2\u00a0how are things in your dream world today???<\/p>\n<p>Check out these links&#8230;..<br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.419eater.com\/html\/trophy_room.htm\" target=\"_blank\">http:\/\/www.419eater.com\/html\/trophy_room.htm<\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.zefrank.com\/request\/index_better.html\" target=\"_blank\">http:\/\/www.zefrank.com\/request\/index_better.html<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Good bye &#8220;Augusto&#8221; \u00c2\u00a0my kooky-kitten-kat is hissing at you&#8230;&#8230;<br \/>\n-patrick<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>With all the genuine relief efforts going on in the world right now, it&#8217;s easy to lose sight of the fake ones. Particularly the plight of poor Augusto Nandu Savimbi, son of Jonas Savimbi, recently slain leader of the UNITA movement in Angola (pictured at right). If you&#8217;ve ever received one of these e-mails, perhaps you&#8217;ve been tempted to help poor Augusto or one of his siblings out of the horrible predicament that has been thrust upon them by the oppressive government of Angola.<\/p>\n<p>Or, perhaps you&#8217;ve just wanted to play along via e-mail and see how much of &#8220;Augusto&#8217;s&#8221; time you could waste.<\/p>\n<p>As it turns out, a designer I work with, Stephen Lodefink, has a friend who has been doing just this for the last month or so, and it&#8217;s one of the more entertaining e-mail exchanges I&#8217;ve read in awhile&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[38,282],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-61","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","category-original"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mikeindustries.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/61","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mikeindustries.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mikeindustries.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mikeindustries.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mikeindustries.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=61"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mikeindustries.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/61\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mikeindustries.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=61"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mikeindustries.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=61"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mikeindustries.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=61"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}