I know it could sound ridiculous, but I ask that you read my mail to understand,am
still on asssignment in Kandahar,a part in Afghanistan.My assignment was so due by Dec,2013, but for
reasons we don’t know, I and a couple of my men were ordered to stay back.I am writing to you for a
business of which we canbe patners in. Am a military personel on duty who needs assistance to move cash to
a safer place and not in the provinces of Afghanistan. I have now reasons to believe that the money we
shared amongst ourselves is the root to our being delayed from going home,right now careful evac of
the sum(my cut?) is all that matters now.it has to be delivered to a safe billing address of your choice
and ready for pick up,be rest assured that This is no stolen money and there are no risks in the process
,and this message came up due to the need for a sincere partner. So, Pls be sure you can. write me at
daibelnny.home[AT]live.com, we can discuss through other channels once I clear my head.
We have started nursing our evacuation from here,i cannot afford to delay this in any manner since the
last threats on the entire platoon that went on the raid which led to the retrieval and handover of the
terrorist treasury to the Afghan gorvernment.I need your response to decide my steps you know?
I hope you understand my plights here? but if you don’t,please ignore this mail and pls accept my
apologies.
warm regards,
Danny

Here is my response:
Well good lordly Gordy. It’s obvious you are out to scam people. How do I know? Wells first of all I am a 93 year old homeless lady living in cardboard boxes and eating from dumpsters.

Been homeless for abouts 4 years I think. See a few years back Mr. Dewie Stewiepitts and me were canoeing in the Everglades and 3 alligators tipped the canoe over. Well 1 of the alligators got a hold of Dewie and the 2nd one joined in. The 3rd one grabbed me by the head and started doing the death roll. Wells I sees this stump in the water and see it goes above the water so I grabs on and pulls my head out of the water. Nows a Park Ranger sees this and gets the gator off of me but not before he rips off the side of my face from the forehead down to the jaw bone. I was in the hospital for 2 moths. During that time they did find Dewie’s legs and that was all. Not much to bury there. 2 months later I gets home to see that my house burned down and Dewie didn’t pay the house insurance. Well I lost everything and with no family I was forced to live on the streets.

Oh I do okay. Mr. Van Nilla form the appliance store puts up those big refrigerator boxes for me out in the woods. He will anchor 2 or 3 of them together so I haves me some room for me and Percy. Percy is my kitty cat.

Now mind you I don’t beg or panhandle. No sir ree Bill I don’t beg or panhandle. See them folks who panhandle tells peoples theys going to gits something to eats but they just go out and gits whiskey and gits liquored up.

Now I support my self by collecting cans and takes them to the recycle place. Oh sometimes I may gits me about $2.03. I thinks the most I gits sometimes is $5.75. Hooo Weee. when I gits me $5.75 I gits to go to the Din Din Diner and gets me a lunch special. See Missy Jenkins knows that I am homeless and she will lets me have the special for $4.00 so I can keeps the $1.75 for coffee for the rest of the week. With these snow storms we are having it’s good to be able to have a hot cup of coffee.

See that nice boy Darby down at the filling station will lets me refill my coffee 3 times for the day after I pays for the 1st cup. Now if that Bunny gal is working hoooo weee she a mean one she is she is. Whys she won’t let’s me refill even 1 time. Once I had only 31 cents and she wanted 33 cents to refill. She wouldn’t even lets me have a half of cup of refill for 31 cents.

Nows for my kitty cat Percy I do gits help from the SPCA. They helps me with kitty food and check-ups. Now understand I don’t take all this as a hand out for Percy. No sir ree Bob. I help clean up the offices and rest rooms 2 times a week. They knows that I take cares of Percy and they nice to me.

Whys even when it snows and my boxes cave in I stay at the homeless shelter and Mr. Arrtts Farrtts lets me bring in Percy. See I keeps her on a harness so she don’t bother any body. She cuddles up with me and sleeps on my arm at night. She a pretty Tuxedo cat. Theys a nice cat. She talks to me and stays by my side.

Now I don’t quite understand your letter as to what you would want from a homeless person. Nows I know you are a scam but it was nice to get mail. See, nobody talks to me or write me letters. I goes to the library and they lets me use the computer but I have nobody to write to. Every once in a while I gits some kind of letter telling me I have millions of dollars and they wants me to sends them money. I may be homeless and 93 years old but I am not stupid. No one is going to send me millions of dollars let alone someone like you telling me you have monies to transport.

Well, I hope you find some stupid person to fall for your scam. Well not really do I hope you find someone to fall for your scam it would be ashamed to rip off someone who just might be in my position.

Now go brush your teeth and find someone you could help in an honest way.

IDANOTTS ASA STEWIEPITTS

dantheecan@hotmail.co.uk

Things I need:
Financial Support
Books
Pen Pal
I want to help others
Money Transactions

Thanks v. Much!

Dan Theecan

Attn: Beneficiary

Sir/Madam,

My Name is Sir Hafiz Abubakar Ringim of the Nigeria Police Force(NPF).

I understand you are expecting your delayed fund to be wired to your bank account.
but some top government officials and bank partners will not tell you the truth and the whereabouts of your fund and all they are doing is to tell you to pay outrageous fees which you refused to come up with.

I will not do that based on my conscience and that is why I have contacted you to let you know the truth because i know you have gone far in trying to get this fund and must have paid some amounts of monies to people you are not supposed to give out a dime to.

All you are required to pay for is for the bank transfer charges of your fund into your bank account in your country.

I will be ready to help you get your fund but you have to help me keep it as a
secret to enable me help in deliver your fund as the Nigeria Police Force principal officer.

You better believe me or forget contacting me again but i know that they will never tell you the truth because they are all thieving criminals.

Get back to me and i will tell you the possible way to get your fund delivered to you without the consent of anyone i know God will reward me after all.

I expect your prompt response through my private email:
npf001@live.com

Regards.
Sir Hafiz Abubakar Ringim
Inspector General Of The Nigeria Police Force (NPF).

this is her latest message to me on facebook…

As you know Joycelyn, My late father’s was a member of a mining company here in Ghana 3months ago my late father lawyer consult me that it as complete 5years my father’s past away and we have to visit the mining company for the release of my late father’s shears of the Gold as agreed with the company when my father was alive.

We both visit the mining company where we meet with the director of the company he make me to understand all my late father’s lawyer said to me is true that I am entitle for 165 Kilos of Alluvial Gold dust as I speak with you right now the Gold is in my care of a shipping company which I did give you the company web site if you are willing to help you have to send me your full information as copy of passport and house address cell phone number.

Years ago, I used to reply to all of the African email scams I received. I have never had the good fortune to have a correspondence go that long or to that level of absurdity, but I did have some fun. I’ve posted some of my correspondence on my website, so please come by and enjoy.

Good for you because you just did a favor to alot of us by getting back at these scam artist. Every time I open my emails, I’ve got about 50 emails in one or two days coming from Nigeria asking for help or offering money. But, you know what really makes me sick is that there are people, that are hard working, honest, and willing to help anyone and they get screwed by ASS _ _ _ _ _ like is. I’ve gotten to the point that I delete all spams without even reading them, it’s not worth the time that you lose to read these mails. I will repeat from the last email, This was really entertaining and funny. You made Augusto feel like he was raped and loved at the same time, GOOD FOR YOU.

Brilliant with the kooky-kat ‘ness! Great entertainment! Recently, I also received an email from a certain Janaba Ayuba, who studied nursing, etc… Yea, found a couple of pictures of her also on the internet… Some of them are slutty!

Have an awesome day!
x

I’ve never thought of playing with these guys but after this I think I will. Entertainment!